you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
