btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
