In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dick very happy bro
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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