I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
