Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
