My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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