what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
