it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
