And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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