sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
