Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
