I have demons in me.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hippo gnu deer
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
