I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
