I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
