After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
