"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
