yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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