Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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