It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
