SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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