i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
