i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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