There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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