we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
