TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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