A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
