I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
