OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
