It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
