if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
