just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
NoShamevember. You game?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
