you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
