hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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