so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I want to fling myself into the sun
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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