i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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