I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
