she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
