So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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