the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
