but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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