Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
