i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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