At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
