please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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