If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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