I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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