So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
