i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
