my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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