Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
