i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The Olympian is in my bed
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
